Siegmund Heil, a conservative booger, sorry, blogger, reports on the matter of Sen. Larry Craig, the tearoom lurking, busted, disgraced and not very cute Senator from Idaho: “We must rally around Senator Craig and not allow him to be destroyed. Senator Craig is virtuous and truthful Christian. I can spot a homo at 50 paces and if Senator Craig were a homo pervert, I would be the first to demand his resignation.”
Amazingly, I too can spot a homo at 50 paces; it’s a little known talent I have honed over the years of looking for them. Actually, I can do it at more than 50 paces and can sometimes sniff ‘em out around a corner, but unlike Siggy, I don’t like to brag. It’s so unladylike.
My fans ask, “How, mrpeene, how can you do this? Tell us your secrets, we beg you.” Well, first there’s the passion amongst fruitcakes for fashion. Often, they will even shave their heads in order to fit in among the stylish set. Then there is the smirking, come-hither expression they hone to perfection, curving their consciously luscious lips into an inviting smirk. Finally, poofter poses are almost always a dead give-away; for example, they will often press their palm to the back of their neck in order to flex their bicep, give a peak of their nasty little pit and simultaneously pay homage to one of the icons of their perversion, the Betty Grable pin-up look. A demonstration, below:
Obviously, queer as Paul Lynde’s hairdresser. It’s also Siegmund Heil. Cute huh? Well, you know, for a moron, anyway.