These Shoes Suck


Part of the upcoming weekend festivities will be a performance of Mrpeenee Goes Shoe Shopping. I’m not wild about any retail experience, except thrift stores, and shoes tend to be especially problematic since I wear size 13.5 (15 in ladies pumps. But that’s another story.) You may have not noticed this, but in men’s shoe departments, each size is afforded its own individual row, or sometimes two until you get to size 12 after which they just dump all the over-sized merchandise into the equivalent of a cobbler’s black hole. The pitifully limited selection of all things 13 through 18 are simply jumbled together – good luck, freak. They might as well put a sign over them saying “Clown Shoes Here” and be done with it. Half sizes are almost unheard of since the evil shoe cartels assume if your feet are taking up that much real estate, such subtle distinctions are unimportant.

Maybe I should just go to the trannie shoe store and get some nice springolators. At least they would make my calves look nice.

About mrpeenee

A former bon vivant and terror of a number of New Orleans bars in the mad, gay 1980s, I'm now quietly retired and widowed in San Francisco. I have a crooked nose due to an unfortunate Frisbee accident.

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