Old mrpeenee

Standard


R Man’s work exposes him to the many wonders of nursing home life, insights about which he passes on to me, including tips about Wander Guards. Here’s what the Azalea Trail Nursing Home in Grand Saline, Texas has to say about them

“Residents who are still very mobile and at risk of wandering out of the facility alone, but who would not be safe if they did so, wear a lightweight signaling device on their wrist or ankle. Whenever one of the residents is about to leave the facility, the staff is notified by an audible sound and thus able to assist the person.”

I have heard before that the Inuit people put their old folks out on ice floes once they can no longer pull their weight around the igloo and I think I might just prefer that to setting off alarms at the Azalea Trail as I try to sneak out.

And this is not mere flippancy. My family tends towards either dying early of white trash type diseases (which I seem to have avoided) or being long lived and crazy. Oh dear. My goal is to emulate my great-aunt Lucille. A gold digger in her youth, she snagged a much older rich guy, had no kids, and spent most of her adult life comfortably as a rich widow. I don’t particularly want any of that, I’m not interested in trading R Man for a widowhood, no matter how comfortable, but at the end she lapsed into cheerful insanity, in merry good spirits and totally oblivious to the world around her. That’s the part I want. I don’t care if I’m crazy, I just don’t want to know about it.

About mrpeenee

A former bon vivant and terror of a number of New Orleans bars in the mad, gay 1980s, I'm now quietly retired and widowed in San Francisco. I have a crooked nose due to an unfortunate Frisbee accident.

7 responses »

  1. I nearly veered off into a gulch the other day and I thought…you know that wouldn’t have been so terrible…airborne…a quick jolt…then Heaven…nice really.

    Like

  2. Oh, hon – some days I feel like the only reason I’m working now is to secure in my old age a private room with my own things. Anything more than that will be gravy…

    Like

  3. Miss Janey must concur with this sentiment. Hopefuly, she will suffer the delusion that she’s a young Elizabeth Taylor.What the hell is this “ttyl” that ixco seems to after???

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s