Dental Hygiene Hijinx


Oh dear. I have this gigantic piece of dental architecture taking up space in my mouth. More than a bridge, it’s kind of a civil works project. To floss it, I have to thread the dental floss in this stupid flexible plastic needle, shove that between the bridge and my gum, pull it through and then saw away with the floss.
Of course, I should only do this in the privacy of a small, dark, LOCKED closet for privacy sake (or, at the very least, the men’s room. Same thing) but when I have half a pound of goddam burrito stuck under there, I figure “What the hell, nobody’s coming by my desk, I’ll just knock this out real quick and no one will ever know.” No one except for the prissy Lady from all the way across the office who chose that moment to pop in and ask me something about schedules. “Oh, I’m SO sorry. Let me get back to you when I don’t have a couple of feet of dental floss dangling from my mouth.”


About mrpeenee

A former bon vivant and terror of a number of New Orleans bars in the mad, gay 1980s, I'm now quietly retired and widowed in San Francisco. I have a crooked nose due to an unfortunate Frisbee accident.

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