Thumbs Up

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Hold your right hand up in front of you, bent at the wrist, as if you were some drunk sorority girl attempting to dance to the Bangle’s great hit “Walk Like an Egyptian.” Elbow crooked, palm parallel with the floor, fingers pointed away from you. Got it? Now with your left hand, try to pull your right thumb back to touch the inside of your right wrist. Can you do it? No? Hah! Foolish mortal. Of course not, because you, unlike mrpeenee, lack the magic of double jointed thumbs. Don’t feel bad (well, ok, maybe you can feel a little bad) just think of me as a wee bit more evolved than the likes of you.

Of course, because of my inherent goodness, I will not use this great power for world domination; and besides, I have something to do this afternoon. But don’t push me, bitch.

Sometimes when R Man is being bad, I punish him by demonstrating this esoteric skill. “Ooh, ick, eek,” he squeals like a little girl “Stop that, that’s gross.” I laugh manically, and then we go back to arguing about decorating, or the cat, or mrpeene’s predilection for wearing knit caps in public because, you know, domestic bliss and all that.

About mrpeenee

A former bon vivant and terror of a number of New Orleans bars in the mad, gay 1980s, I'm now quietly retired and widowed in San Francisco. I have a crooked nose due to an unfortunate Frisbee accident.

8 responses »

  1. I can do it! I was a gymnast after all very limber very supple very flexible. An in demand talent these days and it aids me well in my newfound vocation as a circus freak contortionist.

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  2. Good lord, the things we do learn about people we thought we knew.I lack any such glamorous freakishness, although back in my dancing days, one teacher said I had the best natural turnout of any boy she’d ever met…

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  3. I used to be able to hold my hands together behind me and (continuing to hold them together) bring them all the way over my head to the front of my body. Double-jointed shoulders. Did it at parties sometimes. When people are high they’re very easily amused.

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  4. Mr. P- you are immensely gifted. Does this allow you to, um, touch yourself, in an extra special upside-down way? Or are you just frittering away this talent when you could be sharing it with the world via YouTube?

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