Back in the Sick Room


Wasn’t I recently whining, at length, about being sick? Indeed I was, but I’m ever so much better, thanks. Now, though, R Man is sick and NOT WITH SOMETHING I GAVE HIM. I want that clearly understood.

Poor lamb is having digestive issues and that is as specific as I am going to get. Our friend John claims his mother completely exasperated her doctor by refusing to refer to anything below her jawline except as “Down There.” I think that’s a brilliant policy and I have now adopted it wholeheartedly. Bowels, liver, knees, if I had uterus (I’m pretty sure I don’t,) all of it will henceforth be Down There.

So we had to go to our friend the doctor this morning for some nasty pills that are supposed to be clearing everything up. I hope they do, I hate it when R Man’s sick. I have to force myself not to hover, urging tea on him and asking every fifteen minutes how he’s doing. It’s not really nursing him back to health, it’s more like hectoring him into wellness. Which reminds me, I have to go make some more tea now.

Also, houseboy Honore Rowenus reminds us that we haven’t featured any of the boys lately and that it’s his turn. I do hate to disappoint them, so I promised if he was a good boy and took the tea to R Man, I’d see if I could squeeze him in.

About mrpeenee

A former bon vivant and terror of a number of New Orleans bars in the mad, gay 1980s, I'm now quietly retired and widowed in San Francisco. I have a crooked nose due to an unfortunate Frisbee accident.

10 responses »

  1. Speaking of Down There, I swear I was just talking to my mother this morning. She’s having some v-hole work done and her doctor said, “Well, as long as we’re Down There, we should just do a colonoscopy, too.” I’m like, “She does know that’s not where it goes, right?” Mom says, “She’s right. As long as I’m out and they’re sticking things up me, what do I care where?” You’d like my mom. Classy lady.

    My best to R-Man and his plumbing.


  2. *Nurse Peenee, Paging Nurse Peenee*

    I hope that by now R man is on the mend? I’m imagining all sorts of dangerous medical devices that could be dragged home from the thrift stores like an iron lung or a sauna cabinet, gynecologist’s chairs, various electrical massagers, antique hair dryers and humidifiers.

    I’m beginning to get worried but I know he’s in good hands with the capable Nurse Peenee and I can’t wait for the paperback version to come out.


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