You know what I think would be a really good idea? Anesthesia on demand. It worked for Michael Jackson, right up to the point where he all died and stuff, so why not for me? I would set up appointments for all the owie stuff that I dread, go under and let the owie teams go at it. Teeth cleaning and dental work? I have you down for 10:00 to 11:15. Dermatological removal of broken blood vessels around my nose? You’re up. Colonoscopy? Eeks, ok, I’ll squeeze you in at 11:30, but don’t dawdle.
It’s brilliant. Even the electrolysis of Secret Lady Places for those of us who are not technically Ladies and whose places are hardly Secret, yes, even that. This way everyone who puts off these unpleasant but necessary upkeep items will jump on my Conked Out Bandwagon cause then they get all of it out of the way AND they get to get loaded. This is health care reform that we could sell. I bet Rush Limbaugh already does it.