We Fail an Energy Audit


The energy audit came delivered by not one, but two cute, cute guys. Having your life veer into the set-up for a porn video is just part of living in San Francisco. They were here for two hours, shooting laser tape measures and climbing into the attic and furnace room and other places into which I have never set foot in twelve years of living here. The big finale was a large vinyl tent thing athwart the front door with a huge fan in it to suck all the air out of the house so they could measure where the air leaks are. The verdict: we have lots of leaks. Leaks in the furnace return, leaks in the walls, leaks in the vents. Ryan, the earnest, cuter one did compliment us on our fireplace damper. Oh boy. There is no insulation and the furnace is working four times as hard as it needs to, but we have a dynamite damper.

I’m glad Ryan was so cute, his boyish charm gave me something to think about at the very end of the review when we got to chat about the asbestos in the ductwork. Ay. So our options are to hold our breath the entire time we’re in the house or replace all the ducts, in addition to a new furnace and lots and lots of insulation. When I lined this audit up, I already knew we were going to be in for a chunk of change, I just hadn’t thought the words “environmental hazard” were gong to play a part. At least the guys were cute.

About mrpeenee

A former bon vivant and terror of a number of New Orleans bars in the mad, gay 1980s, I'm now quietly retired and widowed in San Francisco. I have a crooked nose due to an unfortunate Frisbee accident.

4 responses »

  1. Hm. Miss J sees that the porn moment was indeed missed. When “Ryan” Realhard explained the place is a hazard, the porn music should have swelled, along with everything else. “Negotiations” for fines and repairs could have begun in earnest.


  2. Well, I was going to sympathize (and also mention that if asebestos hasn't hurt you in twelve years, what are the chances it'll rear its ugly head now) but Miss J cracked me up and I lost my train of thought.


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