More davenport reports. The day before our couch was supposed to be delivered, I listed our old one on Craigslist for free; I wanted to get it out of the way for the new one. It was snapped up that very evening by an adorable gay boy who was as fresh-faced as the really superior porn starlets of today generally are. I was delighted to pass along our venerable sofa to someone so deserving and who flashed his butt crack when he bent down to pick it up.
I was considerably less delighted the next day when I found out we wouldn’t have a couch for ten weeks while our new one is being handcrafted by blind nuns in Belgium, or something like that anyway. No problemo, I blithely thought, I’ll just rent one. Hah.
The rental showroom is near my office, I sailed in there and ground to a graceless halt on the doorway, stunned by the awfulness spread before me.
Let’s do a little compare and contrast exercise, shall we?
What I’m waiting for: Glamorous, stylish, beautiful as Lauren Bacall in her heyday, whispering of gin martinis and good times.
What they had: Butt hideous.
And then the sales associate (or “shopgirl” as she deserves to be spoken of) came over and slowed down chewing her gun long enough to challenge me with “Do you need something?” Charming.
I know it may be hard to believe but mrpeenee is usually polite, even to lesser beings. I may have a large penis, but I am a lady. Nevetheless, this was wasting my lunch hour, I was unenthusiastic about the whole thing anyway (Is it just me or does “rent-a-couch” bring to mind bed bugs to you, too?) and now I’m getting attitude. “I don’t think so, I was looking for something that wasn’t ugly,” I replied
Things went downhill from there. I left. Yes, we don’t have a couch now, but furniture is so over-rated, don’t you think?