Making Groceries


All I wanted was to pick up some milk, bread, oranges and several large bags of cookies. How was I to know Safeway was a stop-off for the casting call of Night of the Living Dead? Every single aisle blocked by shambling zombies IN MY WAY. Also, apparently, a bunch of tourists, foreign to our way of life, stunned by the splendor and majesty of the bagel selection. Look bitches, my list of Very Important Things To Do Right Now does not include standing stuck behind you while you ponder the attributes of different fish sticks.

Plus, while I appreciate Safeway organizing their stores into adorable sections like “Breakfast” and “Housewares” why do I always wind up with something I need that is hidden on the “Random Shit” aisle?

About mrpeenee

A former bon vivant and terror of a number of New Orleans bars in the mad, gay 1980s, I'm now quietly retired and widowed in San Francisco. I have a crooked nose due to an unfortunate Frisbee accident.

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