More Beauty Tips

I wandered into middle age resigned to a receding hairline; the sheen of my scalp was obvious early on. One of my strongest vows to myself was to never try to hide it. Comb-overs, rugs, plugs: ick, no thanks. Still, one day when R Man and I were trying to buy me a suit I was stunned to look in the three way mirror and find a bald spot in the back. I felt betrayed by my own follicles. Wasn’t it bad enough they were fleeing from the front? Did they have to sneak out the back as well?
But even once I capitulated on the top of my head, I was not prepared to realize I was also losing my eyebrows. What the hell? In all the cultural bitching about aging we have, I don’t every remember anyone touching on the topic of eyebrow loss. More than the sparseness above, I think my patchy brows is my most aging feature, with the few remaining hairs all old-man shaggy and gray, the worst of both worlds.


My recent sojourn at the spa/salon brought to light the idea of eyebrow tinting. What do you think? I wouldn’t go for the Joan Collins circa 1963 thang, but I think just darker brown than the washed out gray I’m working with now might be just the ticket. It’s bound to be cheaper than a Botox party.

22 responses »

  1. tread lightly. the best advice i can offer you is go lighter. remember, you can always go darker, but once they're too dark, you can't make 'em lighter.

    maybe start out with a semi-permanent color. level 6 uh, maybe 7. 7's a dark blonde. there are also eyebrow dying kits in places like sally. though they're not that great, they too are semi-perm and a good place to start.

    and of course, there are tattoos.


  2. Jason
    That picture is in Pat O'Brien's. With my mother.

    Thanks for actual useful insight. How rare, and how unexpected here at the snark bar.

    Eyebrow weaves. Yup, that's what I'm looking for. So I can have something for the bitches to snatch off my head in the cat fights.


  3. I hear you sister. I too found the same disappointment in the evil three way mirror a few years back myself. I would suggest borrowing a light colored mascara and seeing the effect temporarily first. Then if you like it a good stylist can mix a color that will be appropriate…anything but blue or lavender…it’s so old lady.

    BTW I have the opposite problem, my eyebrow hairs grow wild and most are long enough to braid.


  4. Ayem8y has the right idea. Mascara can do for you what it did for Joan Collins in The Bitch along with a chauffeurs hat, fur coat and a basque. A black mascara wand (aptly named) can weave it's magic spell and transform pale ginger brows into sensuous sweepers. Never use blue mascara it's common.
    I use a mascara wand dipped in hair dye to touch up those “Sun bleached” hairs I occasionally get from time to time around my temples. Or simply use a permanent marker pen BTW they make marvellous eye shadows and lipsticks. Make your own eyeliner by burning a match and use the burnt charcoal bit at the end to effect a sexy smoky look.


  5. I say go for it! In a restraintful way, of course. Something like Norma suggested. Here's the thing, you have people in your personal life, as well as us in cyber land, who know you, love you, and things you're adorable as kittens. But when the mirror shows you something that plays hell with Your Own sense of adorablness – fix it. You are much too delicious to not think as highly of yourself as we do.

    WV – “pattaft”. After Pat Ast. See?


  6. Miss J's lady friends use eyebrow pencils. Miss J thinks Mr. P should leave that to the drag queens. NormaDesmond's advice is splendid. And Miss J says ifn it makes Mr. P feel better, DO IT, Baby!


  7. Mr Peenee, Oh how I can relate. For many years I was famous for my dark thick Brook Shields eyebrows and now all I do is fight the thick gray hairs sprouting across my brow. It seems to be my only vain issue I don't want gray eyebrows! My hair is almost white, no problem, but this. I think it's time to die, I mean dye. Let us all know how it turns out.


  8. Peenee,

    I so would have so sucked your dick back then. What a doll. But I'm married now and loyal to my husband. But back then I so would have done you and fucked you silly, too.

    OK, with that out of the way, I would advise you stay as you are, because you are perfect just as you are.




  9. Be careful….my dad tried dying his eyebrows and ended up looking like Groucho Marx!

    Also, don't be scared to trim them and use a bit of wax to keep them in place. I like the idea of using a pencil or mascara first to see how they look before dying.


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