R Man
November 10, 1948 – January 14, 2011
R Man died early this morning. It was very peaceful; I was holding his hand telling him I loved him and he stopped breathing.
When he had my wedding ring engraved, rather than use the dates, he had them inscribe the Latin phrase In saecula saeculorum “Forever and ever.”

About mrpeenee

A former bon vivant and terror of a number of New Orleans bars in the mad, gay 1980s, I'm now quietly retired and widowed in San Francisco. I have a crooked nose due to an unfortunate Frisbee accident.

39 responses »

  1. Gary, I have no words, save for these: One should only be so lucky to forge a life like you did with Randall.

    Sending a hug with all my strength, friendship and admiration. I send best wishes to you and your friends and family during this time.

    Be well.


  2. Oh, my dear friend, I'm so very, very sorry. The inscription is just beautiful, we have something similar. You are in my thoughts and I hope that Saki will give you a bit of comfort now. RIP R Man, no more pain. xoxoxoxoxo


  3. Gary, Jews believe that during our lives on earth we weave “coats” from the deeds that we undertake during our human existence. The coat shield us from the harsh word we live in and keep us safe and warm.

    When someone we love passes into the “light” that is G*d, They no longer need their earthly coats. Picture Randall's coat, and take whatever you need from it and weave into your own to help you stay warm in your life one earth as he would want to you.

    Please, as the days go forth, let us know what you need from us, and we'll provide it. Our love to you, Stu & E.


  4. There are no words for me to give you. I am so profoundly sorry for your loss, buty I am so happy that you had your time together.

    Thank you for being open & sharing your feelings. I wish I was there to hug you.

    You are loved.


  5. I only discovered your blog this past year, but it has made me smile many times. I initially felt strange about commenting here and offering my condolences, but I now feel that it would be strange not to, having read almost all of your entries over the past day or two. Reading it has affected me more than I ever thought it would. I am sincerely sorry for your loss.


  6. When I think of true love — forget semantics and politics, marriage vs. unions, etc., hetero or homo — I think of those wonderful b&w photo booth snapshots of you and R-Man from years back. That's a “forever and ever” love if I ever saw one.


  7. So very sorry for your loss, mrpeenee.

    Like others, I've been reading through your posts about your treasured R Man. Love is a mystery, a challenge, and a wonder. So glad that you had the truest kind for so many, many years.

    These relationships developed over the intertubes are so odd yet so lovely. A treasured part of each day like Muscato can disappear overnight. One can spend more time relating to a kindred spirit like Thombeau than with some local friends.

    Something real develops amongst all the wry observations and pithy commentary.

    I will keep you in my thoughts and hope that life retains some shards of normalcy. As you enter this next phase of life, I hope the echoes and memories of the former life with such a great love will fill the voids and balm some of the pain.


  8. I have read you since you started. I Commented and I stopped, but kept coming back. Like many here, I feel like I know you, and loved and laughed with you on very post. That love you *still* share with R Man touched me profoundly, So I just wanted to wish you all the strength, light and peace you might need. Know that in some strange way, you can count on all of us. And remember that “In the end, the love that you take, is equal to the love you make”… So I am positively sure, R Man left this phase/life/world full of love. Many hugs.


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