Going On

People ask me “How are you doing sweetie?” and I say “OK.” It’s the truth. I miss R Man, sadness wells up like a bubble sometimes, but dissipates. I am not distraught or inconsolable. Victorian writers had a saying “Sorrow is a deep well….” Typical of them to speak to sorrow, but not happiness. I suppose they thought of cheerfulness more as an attractive puddle. I think the saying means you can never sate your grief, the more you allow yourself to be sad, the sadder you feel. I know that’s true for me anyway. I mope, therefore I am mopey.
Fortunately, our friends have surged around offering comfort and joy, including all my blog brotherhood, so thank you all, thank you very much. Every single comment has been a bright spot in a dim time and I appreciate them.
Also, Diane von Austinburg has been visiting since Monday, charming as always, even though the thrift stores we’ve visited (strictly as a form of grief therapy) seem to be suffering from quality deprivation. I’m sure crack houses have better yard sales.
I’m trying to focus on not being morose and I’ve decided to take a substantially long break from work. My days so far consist of sleeping late, taking naps and going to bed early with HGTV marathons squeezed in between. It’s OK with me.
Our cat Saki is very attentive and insists on sitting on a pillow on my lap while I’m at the computer. It’s sort of sweet and annoying in equal parts, especially since he sometimes insists on making editorial comments in the form of biting me.

About mrpeenee

A former bon vivant and terror of a number of New Orleans bars in the mad, gay 1980s, I'm now quietly retired and widowed in San Francisco. I have a crooked nose due to an unfortunate Frisbee accident.

19 responses »

  1. Delurking to add my condolences for you and Saki. Glad to hear you have some real-time friends to help both of you get through this time of mourning.

    Hugs to both of you. Always remember the good times you had with R Man, for those memories are part of his legacy.


  2. Well, Saki and Diane are clearly both angels sent from heaven.

    Anyway, that's how I like to imagine heaven at least, full of witty gals, nippy cats and cheap thrift stores. Oh, and nippy humpy men too.


  3. I agree with sadness being a well, and the more you wallow in it the deeper you go, but, well, a little wallow, and a lot of sadness is sometimes impossible to avoid.
    But you have great friends, everywhere, and a great cat, to remind you that you are loved, have loved and will be loved.


  4. What’s with the crapy thrift store assortment lately? I’ve been in dire need of a fix. I look and look and find nothing but cheap plastic. Since when has cheap plastic tupperware risen to the lofty level of antique price taggery?

    Come on people I need a collectible of quality status.



  5. @AyeM8y: Thrift shop staff have seen one too many broadcasts of Antique Roadshow.

    They're also familiar with eBay and think think they can get more than they used to ask in the past.

    We're not seeing quality goods very often anymore in thrift shops because pickers are getting to the good stuff first. The guys on the trucks either have connections or are knowledgeable enough to take the best stuff off the truck before the staff sees it.


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