Darn

Standard
Word reaches us through Infomaniac and other, more reliable sources, that in other parts of the world it is, in fact, both winter and cold. Infomaniac had a link to a short video of people in that Canadia place spitting out tiny little ice cubes, or something. I couldn’t watch it all, I’m just too delicate. I just filed it under the immense dossier of “Why I Pay So Goddam Much to Live in California.” The highs today were in the mid-60s. There were no lows.
Nevertheless, be assured there are drawbacks to paradise. For instance, the ratio here of crazy, smelly guys on the subway to people I don’t mind sitting next to is really skewed the wrong way. Also, my feet are always cold. Thus I wear socks around the house instead of simply going barefoot the way god intended. R Man gave me cashmere socks a couple of Christmases ago and I love them. Soft, soft, soft and cozy, they are perfect for keeping my little piggies toasty.
Alas, they wear out faster than toilet paper, so now I have a sizeable collection of socks with wore out heels. The answer? I have taken up darning, like some sensible English spinster lady. It’s not hard. You stitch a few rows right to left below the hole to anchor the darn, then across the hole and then stitch up and down, weaving the yarn through the left to right rows.
Tragically, my efforts so far look a lot like our old friend the crazy monkey on crack had knocked them out.

Also, since I’m using a coral colored yarn on my black socks, the effect that I’ve just stepped in a big wad of bubble gum is striking. Still, it works, and these socks are $30 a pair, so the four I’ve mended so far represent half of a massage. With a happy ending. And that’s a good thing.

About mrpeenee

A former bon vivant and terror of a number of New Orleans bars in the mad, gay 1980s, I'm now quietly retired and widowed in San Francisco. I have a crooked nose due to an unfortunate Frisbee accident.

12 responses »

  1. kabuki is infatuated with cashmere they wear out like crazy. but some things are worth the money, cuz you only got the 10 (or so) tootsies. and who doesn't love your cute little tootsies? i've already said too much, forget we had this conversation. i was never here.

    Like

  2. I cannot bear to touch anyone's feet and as for socks, I pick those up using the very tips of my fingers. Foot fetishism isn't for me sadly. Did you use a darning mushroom?

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s