Red Scare

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When one is a middle aged homogay, there are times when the decorating sickness falls on one. There is nothing to be done, one must resign oneself to swatches. So let me tell you about my own particular Designing Women madness.
R Man and I had longed planned curtains for our poppy yellow dining room. He was holding out for hot pink and white stripes. Considering his very staid disposition, his occasional fondness for clown college style decor was always surprising when it reared its bizarre little head. I was actually all for it, but R’s all-too untimely demise sort of derailed the project.
Since he died, I had periodically and with no great enthusiasm, hunted for fabric for the curtains. No dice. All I could ever find was excessively tasteful stripes and insipid flowers. One store where I described the chintz of my dreams, with monkeys and palm trees in pink and orange all but pushed me out the door.
Finally, though, I accidentally ran across a beautiful chinese style embroidered fake silk, with gold dragons and red thorn trees on a scarlet background.

I had our curtain lady (the amusingly appropriate Mrs. Draper. I’m not making that up) run them up, with a matching pair for the flanking windows in solid crimson silk.


Once that train had left the station, I found myself on a red roll. A coppery red mirror to offset the charming plum branches hand painted for us by the immensely talented Super Agent Fred.

A tiny tangerine glass vase.

And a beautiful oxblood lamp.


Lastly, at the store where I snagged the lamp and the vase, an enormous asian armoire in red lacquer waylaid me. I certainly did not need it. We had a perfectly good china cabinet that matched the rest of the mahogany furniture in the room. But you know, I never really liked that stupid hutch, and the armoire was on sale and it was red and all of a sudden I saw my hand passing over my credit card. The next thing I knew….

before

after

Saki scopes out the defensive possibilities of the new cabinet.

It’s not my fault. It’s The Sickness.

About mrpeenee

A former bon vivant and terror of a number of New Orleans bars in the mad, gay 1980s, I'm now quietly retired and widowed in San Francisco. I have a crooked nose due to an unfortunate Frisbee accident.

13 responses »

  1. Can you get your middle aged homogay swatch-swishing ass over here by noon?

    I'm having more guests arrive soon and I'm not happy at all with the state of my dining room.

    Like

  2. As a fellow homogay who struggles with his partner's oftentimes clownish decorating snes, I must say i love what you've done with the place!!
    Very gay-sian.

    Like

  3. Now that our dear friend at the Chateau has gone and closed up shop..we are all counting on you to keep our little community engaged, lest we all become like Miss Haversham all cobwebby from lack of interaction.

    LOVE the red drapes! I had a dress like that once, with frog closures.. back when I had a figure that could pull that off, le sigh.

    Like

  4. I'm a different Will. As a great fan of everything in the red/yellow spectrum, including all the magnificent iterations of orange, I think the new scheme is fantastic!

    Like

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