In our “Hell in a Handbag” post below, corespondent Debs commented “medicine for bone cancer also gives one very vivid, livid dreams….” Amazing, since the one side effect of my AIDS medicine I didn’t mention is the onset of immensely amusing dreams, totally different from my previous unconscious, very realistic with internally consistent plots and effects. Plus I can direct them at will during the dream itself. If I don’t like the way things are turning out, I’m aware of it and can re-channel the action into more pleasurable directions. I’m wild for them.
Saturday night I had one where I was a house guest at Martha Stewart’s place, along with our dear, dear chum Glenn Close. Of course, since it was Martha, the house was a beautiful series of Paladian pavilions, pretentious bitch. I couldn’t really pay the proper attention to Martha or her goddam dogs since I was terribly busy as a high fashion model in the middle of a photo shoot. I had to calm the overwrought Italian photographer by telling him “Shut up, I know what I’m doing” in flawless Italian (“Stai zitto, io so quello che sto facendo,” in case you were wondering, and thank you Google’s translation thingy.) It’s possible he was so nervous because I was wearing a gold suit with a gold tie set with gemstone. And I don’t mean it was gold colored, I mean it was gold metal, but I was able to pull it off with my best vogueing. I know what I’m doing.
Real Italian models. Not mrpeenee. I know what I’m doing.
And then last night, probably overly influenced by my own blog, I dreamed I was sexing it up with the Night is Half Gone
Aries guy. We were in a beautiful room paved in sea glass tiles and I was driving him wild by sucking, gently, on his horns. The ones on his head, silly. There was a little red knob on the end of each one, like a Jujube. I was so sorry to wake up.
In other mrpeenee news, Super Agent Fred and I are winging it off to Los Angeles tomorrow for a few days in order for me to escape from the kitchen renovation. I figure if I can’t have a kitchen, I might as well do so in a nice hotel. Felix in Hollywood
encourages us to come out on one of his fabulous sounding tours, overriding my puking whine about the heat. I know it’s California and whinging about the heat here is nothing to endear us to readers suffering along where the temps are serious, but I’m delicate
We certainly hope this is included on dear Felix’s tour. We would hate to ask for our money back.