Focus Darling, Focus

This is my life in the shell of a nut: I just spent much too long crawling around on the floor of my tastefully decorated bathroom trying to find an ativan I dropped on the white marble tiles, which, while I think beautiful, are the perfect camouflage for a small white pill, all the while Saki the cat, agitated by a really bad youtube video of the 2009 Night of a Thousand Stevies drag show, darts around trying to figure out what the game is.

Really, the only thing missing was porn.

10 responses »

  1. Precisely why I have earth tone tile. Except when I find my dropped pill it's covered in dirt and hair. Because earth tone tiles disguise the fact that I'm a filthy housekeeper.


  2. There would have been porn if a.) you were pantsless; and b.) there was a camera taking pictures of you on your hands and knees looking for that Ativan.

    One day, I should tell you about a college roommate walking in on me in a similar position and a far-more-uncovered state of undress, trying to coax a soaking-wet kitten out from under a piece of furniture. Many laughs for cat. Much embarrassment for me. A lifetime's worth of Clorox, Lysol, and Liquid Plum'r for the brain of the (regrettably straight) roommate. He still shudders whenever I say the words “butthole,” “anus,” or “rosebud”. He told me long ago that he and I will never be ever able to watch “Citizen Kane” together because of this one incident. . . ;-P!


  3. they only make the pills small to give retirees something to do. you should use food coloring and dye them just as soon as you get home from the store. you are welcome. remind me to tell you about dropping hash down a flight of muddy stairs oneday.


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