When mrpeenee was just a mere scamp, trapped in the white trash swamps of the Gulf Coast, my how I adored Dark Shadows. I would scurry home from school every day to be completely absorbed by it. I was oblivious to its cheesy production values and clumsy acting gaffes (although I do remember the actors staring blankly at each other when one of them would blow his/her lines, which happened so often I think I assumed it was intentional.) The glacial plot was fine with me, I was 12 years old and had plenty of time to kill. I even convinced myself I had a crush on Barnabas Collins (Jonathan Frid.)
I think I must have been suffering some kind of vampire related temporary insanity.
Imagine my thrill when I heard Johnny Depp and Tim Burton (a collaboration I think is always inspired) had taken on the project of reviving the old hag. Super Agent Fred shares my delight and, in fact, is streaming the original as preparation and has taken to orating the overly florid opening (“My name is VictOHHHRia Wintahrs….” We’re planning an a afternoon at the movies, but that might include She Male Sperm Whores 2. You never know.