The End Times, an Ongoing Report


My dears, we must be strong and face the very worst head on: Hostess Bakeries, purveyors of Twinkies, Dolly Madison snack cakes, Ding Dongs, and other fine, fine delectables is going out of business.  A strike by its workers, falling on the heels of its bankruptcy a couple of years ago has put a stake through its junk food heart.  A workers’ strike!  Commie bastards.

You must know mrpeenee is an absolute fiend for Ding Dongs.  Their plasticy, vaguely “chocolate” exterior and whatever the hell that white stuff in the middle was: mmmm, heaven.  And now to think they’ve been done in by American’s turn to more healthful eating.  Go stuff a fucking apple in your mewling little pie hole and leave my Dolly Madison twelve pack alone, thats what I say.

Reports are already filtering in of hoarding.  Can you blame us?

About mrpeenee

A former bon vivant and terror of a number of New Orleans bars in the mad, gay 1980s, I'm now quietly retired and widowed in San Francisco. I have a crooked nose due to an unfortunate Frisbee accident.

12 responses »

  1. Over here we have “Tunnock's Teacakes” – an equally classy and nutritious delicacy. Neither the “diet police” nor Commie agitation have threatened those… Yet. Jx


  2. Psssst! Do you want to score a Ding-Dong? I don't think chocolate tastes the same as it once did, I bit into a Kit-kat the other day and spat it out, it tasted like candle wax. I enjoy the occasional walnut whip though I wouldn't pay £3.17 for a pack of 4 the dirty rob dogs! I like to bite the top off one and scoop out the white stuff inside using my tongue. Do you do the same with your Ding-Dong?


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