Christmas is upon us once again. Perhaps you had heard? Just in case you hadn’t here is some Xmas smut. You know somewhere, someone has a freak on for this stuff cause, you know, a lid for every pot and all that.
At lunch today, I realized it’s not even a week into December and I am already sick of holiday music, washed up singers (looking at you, Rod Stewart) puking up sickly retreads of tunes trying very hard to be ecumenical by not mentioning Jeebus Whatshisname during a holiday inspired by his birthfday. It’s not that I’ve grown sick of them, it’s more that I reached my saturation point years ago and now the instant they roll back around, I am ready to do violence at the first tinkling strain I hear of Silent Night.
Who wants this crap? Who thought it would be a good idea to see what Ella Fitzgerald could do with Little Drummer Boy? I am fully prepared to give my business to any bar, restaurant or store that puts up a sign saying “Carol Free Zone.”
As an anodyne to the Bangles covering Blue Christmas and all the other seasonal pap out there, let me offer the Verve remix of Nina Simone’s Take Care of Business. A few years ago, the venerable jazz label Verve shared their fabulous catalogue with modern producers and DJs who wanted to update these classics with some very mixed results. This is, I think, one of the most successful.
I don’t think you can refer to the lyrics as double entendres, they are so thinly veiled. “O lawd, don’t keep me waiting / Be as firm as can be” is more like a single entendre, or 1.5 at best.
The whole is very loose-limbed and crazy (with trombones! And castanets!) especially for a Simone song, but then, Our Lady of Did I Ask You, Motherfucker? shows up to very firmly kick the project’s butt into gear and the contrast makes things fascinating.
Take it away, Miss Simone: