Dearies, so sorry to be sort of AWOL lately (did you notice? Shut up.) Aunt peenee has been involved in a bad patch of neck-and-back aches and crouching over a keyboard to knock out a blog post was just so not appealing.
In the midst of my personal Hunchback Festival, I had to go run a bunch of errands. Isn’t that always the way? On the list was a smog certification test for my car so I trotted on down to a typically grimy little garage fitted out with all those oily garage-type thingies, one astonishingly cute technician and the issue of W magazine that had a feature about Chris Hemsworth. Of course. I do so love living in San Francisco.
To kill some time, I limped over to a hideous nearby cafe. Lit with mercury vapor lamps, it had the same charming ambiance of the New Orleans police department’s holding cells. How, you ask, does mrpeenee know what the inside of the NOPD lockdown looks like? Let’s stay on point here, shall we?
While trying to find an empty seat for me and what they cynically claimed was coffee, I realized all the management, staff and clientele looked like their resumes (or rap sheets) would include the phrase “sheltered workshop.” Prominently. Amazingly, the best available table was right next to two very good looking men even more out of place in the joint than I was.
It didn’t take me long to realize it was a job interview. In a skeezy cafe at 5:30 in a questionable part of town. Hmmm. The guy interviewing was using all those pointless questions H.R. teaches clueless management, like “If you could be a tree, what kind of tree would be?’ instead of “Can you do this job?” and “Will the petty cash box be safe around you?” There was lots of pointless yammering about “team evolution.” It’s possible the word “paradigm” was let loose.
Since the interviewee looked like this
except in a navy blue sweater, or as much of the sweater as could stretch over his massive massiveness, I briefly entertained myself by wondering if it was possible that he was shooting for a job in the pornography field. It certainly seems like it would have been an excellent career choice. Then I remembered that almost certainly a porn interview would have been much more along the lines of “Let me see it. Hard.” Which would have been okay with me and probably the rest of the cafe. Certainly the barista. It also would have been more useful than asking “What do you think your personal weakness in a group dynamic might be?” although that could apply to the world of smut too.
I do so love living in San Francisco.