Guys with Balls

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So it turns out there is this football thing (to reiterate: football is the one with the pointy brown ball, although why it’s a ball when it isn’t round bothers me.  Stupid thing looks like some internal organ.  With stripes.) on Sunday called the Super Bowl.  It’s not the Supreme Bowl cause that’s this

No, I’m pretty sure it’s some football thing, cause I pay attention and since San Francisco is one of the teams (there are two) playing in it, it’s been sort of hard to ignore around here.  Also, San Francisco won the World Series last fall.  Oh, and the orange and black clothes they wore were not their Haloween costume, like I thought, but were, in reality, their uniforms.  Isn’t that adorable?  Between the two contests, life around here, in the World’s Most Gay City, has been annoyingly boyish.  And not in a good way.

I would be more upset, but the quarterback (which is sort of like the Head Stewardess or RuPaul on Drag Race) is Colin Kaepernick and this is what he looks like

so, you know, slack is cut.

My plan to survive the whole sorry mess is to head out for an early tea with the Fashion Sensation at Nieman’s.  That ought to do it.

Also, condolences and get well soon wishes to Jason in New Orleans who has to actually put up with the game being played there.  Stay strong sister.  I’ll try to send healing vibrations your way as I tuck into a petit four with all the other Ladies.

11 responses »

  1. Once upon a time I liked to cause general mayhem at dull business meetings when the inevitable talk of sports came up by timidly inquiring, say, of football something along the lines of, “Now, is that the outdoors one with the large players, or the indoors one with the tall ones?”

    More recently, I've learned that you can cause even more mayhem by simply saying that you know nothing about that kind of thing because it doesn't interest you. Many people react as if you'd just called for the violent overthrow of the government or the wholesale slaughter of puppies (for the record, in the right cirumstances I might be talked into the former, but in all ways I remain opposed to the latter).

    Like

  2. Thank you my dear Peenee,
    I will need the strength of Mr. Kaepernick's gluteus today.
    Foolishly,
    I have agreed to drive two lesbian friends (in from SF) into the belly of the beast today, or as close as I can get them, to the dome.
    I'm packing a lunch.

    Like

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