Give It Up


And may the peace of the Lenten season be with you.  You did know today, Ash Wednesday, is the start of Lent, right?  Also, you knew that people who say “Happy Lent” like “Merry Christmas” are just misguided morons who are missing the whole point, right?

And we all are planning on what to give up for Lent as part of our penance, penance as miserable sinners who have left undone what we ought to have done, right?  Personally, each Easter, I know the quiet satisfaction of having stuck with my vows of having done strictly without whatever it is I have sworn off.  How do I exhibit such strength of will?  I always choose to give up things I hate, that’s how.  That way, as I’m tucking into my chocolate bunnies and everyone around me feels guilty about failing to stick with their promise to stop drinking, I can think “Whew, I am SO glad I didn’t go BASE jumping, just like I said I wouldn’t.”

For Lent 2013, I swear to pass on:

Indian food
Macadamia nuts
lesbian porn
Sylvester Stallone
Vitamin water
Standing around nude with the naked guys at Naked Guy Park

I am certainly NOT giving up the fleshly pleasures.

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