Potty Mouth


In buying my house in New Orleans, I merrily believed the most taxing decisions would involve decorating conundrums like paint colors and such.   I overlooked the fact that in ripping out everything from the kitchens to the electric sockets, someone (that would be me) would have to pick out new ones to replace all that.

I’ve spent the whole evening looking at bathtubs and then, just for laughs, toilets.  I’m sure I don’t have to explain to anyone living in this consumers’ paradise, choice really isn’t a problem.  It’s narrowing things down that’s the bitch.  All I want is a potty that transports the poo out of the house.  A built-in nightlight is not something I had me heart set on.  Even when I cleared the list of lights and surround sound and “cleansing devices” (oh dear.  Oh very dear.) I wound up with a considerable table of comparisons most of which seem identical.

The search engine on the Lowe’s store page asks “What are you looking for?’  I understand they’re trying to be helpful, but I was so frustrated by that time, I took it as a more philosophical question and decided if their page wanted to know why I was bothering to look, maybe it was time to go to bed.

14 responses »

  1. I remember trying to pick out kitchen faucets when I replaced mine and being overwhelmed by the selection. And of course the loo is indeed important. I say listen to Jason.


  2. I had the same problem when I moved into Moss Cottage almost 10 years ago. I went shopping for a new toilet, I explained to the shop assistant exactly what I wanted, an art nouveau style toilet in the form of a baby bird rising from it's nest, with it's beak wide open waiting patiently for delicacies to be dropped into it's mouth. He just looked at me as if I was stark raving mad, so I just bought a new toilet seat in white.


  3. Sorry to be late to this potty party.. but I have just two helpful words.. “Chair Height”

    I just replaced three “turrets” as my father would say. I know my old ass isn't getting any younger, and I love not squatting down anymore.


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