You are now connected to Amazon from Amazon.com
Me:On August 26, I had a chat session about the whirlpool bathtub I ordered. The person I chatted with claimed someone from “large purchases” would get back to me in 24 hours. It’s been a week, no contact, so a) what’s with that and b) where’s my bathtub?
Amazon:Hello Gary, my name is Natally and I’m so sorry to hear that we where supposed to contact you and we didn’t and the fact that you don’t have your bathtub, let me see how i can help you
Amazon:just to verify the address we are supposed to send this bathtub is blah blah blah
Amazon:thank you, Gary please wait for me just a moment while i review your account really quick
Ok Gary, thank you for your patience, I actually need to connect you with one of my colleagues from the concierge dept because of the price of this bathtub, please hold while I connect you.
Gary are you there?
Me:yeah, it’s not like I’m going to take a bath or anything.
Amazon:Thank you Gary just a moment
A Customer Service Associate will be with you in a moment.
You are now connected to Ben from Amazon.com
Ben:I’m sorry that you have not gotten your bathtub yet, let me pull this order up and we’ll see what’s going on.
It looks like we are still working on acquiring the inventory to ship it out to you.
Me:what does that mean? I ordered this on July 19. When is the tub getting here.
Ben:We currently do not know. We’re working on getting the inventory. It looks like it was out of stock when ordered and we’ve not been able to get another one quite yet. I’m sorry.
Me:It took amazon a month and a half to realize it was out of stock, I contacted you once already, and you’re just now getting around to mentioning this?
Ben:I’m very sorry, from what I’m seeing on the details of the order, this was out of stock when you ordered it.
We did send you an update shortly after the order with an expected time that we could get this out to you. That was between August 18th and September 11th. I know that’s a very long window, but when we’re not sure when we’re going to actually get them in, that does tend to happen.
Me:I’d like to point out Sept. 11 is nine days away. Are you saying the tub will be here then?
Ben:I cannot guarantee that, as it does not look like we’ve found a supplier yet, but it is not outside of the realm of possibilities. To be very honest, I doubt it.
Me:So, to summarize: Amazon’s customer guarantees are worthless.
Ben:Not typically, but unfortunately in this case, it looks like we might actually not be able to make that date.
I can happily look into what’s going on and why it’s taking so long.
Of course, if you would like to cancel the order and go somewhere else, I’d completely understand.
Me:“Looking into it and finding out why it’s taking so long” would be swell. In fact, many customers would assume that is what you would be already doing.
Ben:On the customer service end, that’s not something that we generally handle. That’s taken care of by our vendor managers and others in the procurement teams. But since I want to help you, I will do what I can to get you an answer, since they have not updated you.
Me:I’m in New Orleans. I can get a voodoo doll with “Procurement team” written on it without breaking a sweat and I suspect it would be just about as much help.
Ben:If that’s what you feel you want to do, you’re perfectly welcome to. I, on the other hand, am going to actually try to be helpful, if that’s ok with you.
Me:Go to it. And reel in the snark while you’re at it.
Ben:Honestly sir, I could say the exact same to you, but I did not mean to be snarky, so I apologize.
I’m typing up an email to the vendor manager in charge of that department.
Me:I look forward to hearing what you discover.
Ben:Would you prefer email or phone?
Me:email is fine. My address is firstname.lastname@example.org.
Ben:Awesome. I’ll reach out to you as soon as I hear anything. I’m sorry that this is taking so long to get to you.
Me:Thank you and good day.