I had dinner tonight from Munchery. They’re a company that cooks and delivers meals to people who are too lazy to get off their indolent butts and actually make food for themselves, people for whom going out to a restaurant is too much trouble. People like me.
Their food ranges from pretty OK to not awful. It is always better than plenty of things I’ve had in actual restaurants. Tonight I had a steak and potato gratin, both of which were very good, and two desserts.
I have taken to ordering two desserts in restaurants. If they have two listed that I can’t decide between, I figure, what the hell. The servers frequently seem shocked, as if I’m indulging in some excessive madness, a bacchanal of sweets.
So tonight I had a chocolate cheesecake and a grapefruit chiffon pie. Grapefruit motherfucking Chiffon Pie. Doesn’t that sound thrillingly exotic? Turns out it was bland and the crust was tough as something NASA would come up with to protect astronauts’ phones. I pushed the cheesecake aside, cleaned up and eventually went to bed.
In my world, going to bed almost always leads to waking up a couple of hours later, in the dark with nothing to do. “I wish,” I thought to myself, “that I had something sweet.” I got up and set out for the kitchen to forage for cookies or, if nothing else, toast and jelly.
Imagine my thrill at discovering a piece of chocolate cheesecake. It may not rate with the appearance of Our Lady at Lourdes, but at the moment, I preferred it. Unless Mary was holding a whole carrot cake, which, obviously, is the only thing that would have been an improvement.
Between bites, I made an impromptu novena, thanking whichever saint is in charge of pastries, because they certainly had come through, delivering the answer to my prayers before I even composed them.
This just in: the patron saint of pastries is St. Honore, duh, for whom those fabulous creampuff cakes are named. Gateau St. Honore, a cake made out of cream puffs. Could anything be more fabulous? Well, short of discovering an unexpected cheesecake in the middle of the night.
We give thanks to St. Honore.