I mentioned once, in a long gone post, that I had a vast collection of the aluminum platters and and dishes and other hostess ware that was so very fashionable in the Fifties   when I was barely out of the egg.  At one point, thirty years ago or so, they were more than abundant in the thrift store circuit.  Junk stores were awash in them.  I was tired of pining over the cool mid century pieces I couldn’t afford when I went to a friend’s yard sale and bought my first two pieces.   I decided I would buy them whenever I rana cross them and they were less than $2.

Over the years, I stretched my budget al the way up to $5 and very rarely, something really spectacular, sprang for as wild as ten bucks.  Even with those parameters I managed to amass quite a pile.  And that’s exactly what it was: a pile.   Stacks and heaps and teetering columns in every corner I could find.  It was a testament to R Man’s love that he put up with it.

Finally, he announced I had to do something with all the various trays that had once been the pride of Bennie Lou Spitzer and other hostesses of the White Trash Nation.  Late one evening, I started out putting some up on the walls of out downstairs half bath.  By the time I finished  had this:


Th effect was pretty spectacular.  Guests would emerge spluttering and wild-eyed.  One down side I had not expected was when some velcro would give way and the platter would crash to the floor with a terrifying kaboom.  Why this always happened about 3:00 AM we’ll never know.  I blame ghosts.

When I sold the house, the buyers asked what I was going to do with the collection.  I thought they wanted to buy and offered to sell it.  Turns out they just wanted to make sure I took it with me and didn’t leave it behind for them to deal with.  Pussies.

Well, deal with it I did, finally.  When I pulled it down from the bathroom, it wound up filling the car.  I rattled around with it as a passenger for a few days before I finally dragged it all up to the apartment.  It spent a few days sullenly taking up room.  I realized it would stay in al those bags and baskets forever unless I tackled it.

Step 1) Unpack it all so I could see what I was going to be dealing with:



Step 2) Go find the Valium

Step3) Stick the motherfuckers up.  It turned out to be incredibly easy.  I used industrial strength adhesive velcro.  Bot of the outsides of the each velcro strip were adhesive.  Really, really adhesive.  You had better be damn sure where that stuff was going, cause otherwise, all you can do is learn to live with it.  But all it was stick the velcro to the back of the aluminum, mash it against the wall, repeat.  The most difficult part was pealing the film off the adhesive side.  My trick was to slide the blade of an Xacto knife under the film and then just peel away.  It’s also a very effective way to stab yourself in the thumb repeatedly.





In the end, it wasn’t so bad, a couple of rather trying nights, or rather, very early mornings.  Once again, my energy, stamina and interest level are all at their peak right around 3:00 AM so it was a good thing all of this was essentially silent.  Peeling back the backing, screeching under my breath when I stabbed myself with the Xacto blade (Man, those things hurt,) and trying to keep Saki out of the peels.  Saki has an insatiable love of eating plastic and this particular kind of plastic has exactly the texture.  He’s like a junkie around it.

The downside is that since it is pave for the hall, there’s no way to get a photo of the whole thing.  You’l have to take my word for it, the effect is rather startling.  In a good way.

Also, our dear friend Mikey, a star of that filthy Chaturbate site has sent me a picture of him that he wants put up here so mrpeeenee readers can go be salacious, should you care to do so:


mikeys address is chaturbate playwithme55

He’s very entertaining.


About mrpeenee

A former bon vivant and terror of a number of New Orleans bars in the mad, gay 1980s, I'm now quietly retired and widowed in San Francisco. I have a crooked nose due to an unfortunate Frisbee accident.

20 responses »

  1. OMG. I love you and all that flatware! What a great idea!! I love the wall with all the square and rectangular trays. This would be so cool in my kitchen when I do a redo. I’ll let you know if a do the Peenee Wall Affect.

    And Mikey. The only thing not to like, is he isn’t on my bed right now. What a mighty nice asset!


    • Thanks, I’m more than pleased with how it all turned out.

      As usual, your man taste is on the money, so to speak. It is quite a nice asset, big, round, so hard it doesn’t jiggle when he spanks it. By all means drop by his room around midnight on Fridays. All the gang is there. Tell them mrpeenee sent you.


  2. Oh, wow! Your aluminium trays and dishes look just as good in your new home. Like the Mistress Borghese, my favourite bit is with the rectangular trays, but I do really like the seemingly undulating wave the whole display creates along that windowed wall.
    And as for MIkey, couldn’t you just serve him up on a platter!


    • Oh, thank you so much. I like it, even though it was much more striking all compressed into one tiny. Overwhelming might be a better description.

      And Mikey. Have mercy. And during his performance, he can electrify the audience. And on top of that, he is sweet and unaffected. The perfect boyfriend for me: gorgeous, personable, and on another continent.


    • They’re indestructible. Cheap, light, at one time, abundant at every junk store, they were the perfect collectible. I’m pretty sure my heirs will have them off to the recycling center as soon as they can peel them off the walls.


  3. Some of your trays have a bamboo pattern like that on a “silent butler” I inherited from my parents. They received it as a wedding present back in the ’50s. The pattern must have been very popular then. And, yes, cats have weird tastes. After all, Saki adopted you, didn’t he?


    • There are a number of common patterns that show up in the collection. That bamboo: a sort of fussy rose one; and one I’m very fond of that looks like worked leather.


  4. Sqeee! It looks even better than I imagined when you were telling me about it. Well done dear. And watch out for that X-Acto knife and other pointy objects.


    • It’s not as stunning as it was in the potty, but I’m very pleased with it. Wait till you see it. Speaking of which, I gave away the queen bed and put in a twin in the guest room. So no overnighters for you.


  5. Your southern roots are showing, deah suh. Surely you have drawn inspiration from the classic garage walls adorned with hub caps. The art piece featuring aluminum foil that has appeared in both of your last 2 posts is delightful. Is there a story behind it?


  6. You really are the hostess with the mostess!

    The tray in the 2nd photo the one with the centre piece missing, a prototype for a portable rimseat with folding legs?


    • Your mind WOULD go there, wouldn’t it? The more mundane truth is that there was a fad of putting a ceramic plate in the center and use the aluminum tray as a frame. The plates were universally hideous and time has not been kind to them. I’ve only seen one that was unbroken and the thieves running the joint wanted something outrageous and so I walked out in a huff, something I’m terribly talented at. I do have one small bowl with its plate intact. It’s ugly, but its rarity made it irresistible.


  7. ♪ ♫ Oh, Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man
    That he didn’t, didn’t already have ♪ ♫
    Tin Man America

    Wonderful collection well-displayed sir!


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