Leafy Green Peenee

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Looking back on the days leading up to my health bump in the road, it’s easy to see where I went wrong.  Hell, I saw I was going wrong even as I was doing it; I just didn’t stop.   Little  things like staying in bed 24 hours a day for days in a row, emerging only to pee and eat whatever cookies I could find in the pantry.  Yes, I knew I was not actually a vampire, but I seemed to think living like one might be a viable concept.  It wasn’t.

As I crept back into the world of the Not Sick as a Sick Dog, I googled what to eat for a life with a touchy gallbladder.  Of course, the first item is leafy green vegetables.  No matter what problem you Google ( gall bladder, early menopause, how to file your taxes, how to escape the country after you file your own taxes) leafy greens always show up as a solution.  Obviously the industrial military spinach complex has penetrated the search engine universe.

But I asked, they answered and so I have been following their advice with salads at every meal and just tonight, kale.  I was so impressed with myself, I texted Diane to brag about it.  She replied asking how I prepared it.  Isn’t that adorable?  Thinking that I might actually be cooking once again.  I replied, crushing her sad little dreams, that it was the side with my Chicken Parmigiana at the Firewood Cafe, an old favorite.

In the four months I’ve been in this apartment I have turned on the stove twice, both ties to boil water.  The second time, having learned from the disastrous first time, only after I washed all the cat hair off.  The stove has one of those totally smooth porcelain tops which is easy to clean, but which collects dust and cat hair.  If you don’t wash all the debris off before firing that mother up, the stench of burning cat fur will fill the place and stay with you.  At low times, I think I can still smell it.

Anyway, my diet is better, I’m leaving the house for a couple of walks every day and I feel much better.  Food and exercise, who knew?

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Because this could await for you in the outside environs.  Who knows?

 

11 responses »

  1. I’m glad you’re on the MENd and not on MJ’s memoriam panel. According to Carmen’s diabetic nurse eating leafy greens is the cure for diabetes. Don’t let your gallbladder dominate your life, get it whipped out, then you can eat what you want.

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    • I’m SO with you sister. And yet fathead Google refuses to consider the health benefits of muscular Hispanics with big, fat cocks. Instead, whenever I list my medical issues, their list of possible diagnoses always seems to include uterine cancer.

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  2. The next time you want to live like a vampire, remember: 1.) They can’t go to Italian restaurants because garlic; 2.) Their hair, necktie, makeup, etc., is always crooked because they can’t find a working mirror; and 3.) They never drink . . . wine.

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  3. “To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.” – Oscar Wilde

    To my knowledge, dear old Oscar had nothing to say on the subject of gall bladders, nor man meat (though, Lord knows, he sampled enough).

    Jx

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    • Poor Oscar. And yet, I find myself in total agreement about all those dreadful points. And would they really have returned his youth? I see men my age grimly assailing exercise, early rising, and most definitely respectability, but they remain grisly old things.

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  4. Well, evidently I have used your stove top more often than you, as I boiled water every morning I was there. Who knew? And cooking isn’t one of my sad little dreams, just a fact of life for me. I forget it’s not for others. But I *am* proud of you for eating the kale . . . assuming you actually did. All I’m really sure of is that you bought it.

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