I suspect when I tell people I sleep all day they translate that as something like I sleep at night like normal people and then take naps during the day. Wrong. I go to sleep about 7:00 AM, dawn for those of you who might miss the whole “rosy fingered” thing. I then saw away until 5:00 or 6:00 that evening, broken only by occasional old man piss trips and whenever Saki can wake me up enough to feed him.
It’s a schedule made famous by rock and roll legends and vampires and it works fine for me. My system apparently is owl. No wonder I had such a hard time getting up for school or work; I was leaving my bed just when I should have been settling down into it. Of course there were drawbacks, there always are. Trying to get to appointments, doctor, hair, chats with friends, whatever, was problematic and I never got the sympathy I deserved when I would whine about setting my alarm for 2:00 in the afternoon.
And then three days ago, suddenly I couldn’t sleep. At all. Does everyone have trouble sleeping? Yes, yes we do, except cats. I would turn in and lie there expecting to doze off at any minute, but the minute would tick by and suddenly it was early afternoon and I was still awake. The second day I surrendered and wound up down at Peet’s Cafe knocking back a latte with some tasty muffins.
I know, I know, coffee when you can’t sleep is just exacerbating the problem, but my experience is if I can’t fall asleep in the first half hour, it’s not going to happen. So I embraced insomnia and turned to my usual answer to everything, coffee and a pastry at Peet’s. If it can’t help, it also can’t hurt.
I’ve finally fallen asleep about 3:00 or 4:00. Is this my new schedule? If anything it seems even more inconvenient than my old one. I’m hoping this passes and I can go back to watching crappy You Tube videos at hours when all the god fearing are snoring away. Still in the video queue are hundreds of hours of Russian lunkheads trying to unload a sports car off the back of a truck with a couple of 2 x 4s. Hilarious.
Guys in bed:
Try listening to Fred’s Voice through your head phones. The rude barber is my favourite.
LikeLike
Oh, dear god, that ASMR stuff creeps me out profoundly.
LikeLike
Forget counting sheep. Have you tried counting shepherds?
LikeLike
Counting ON shepherds maybe.
LikeLike
Ah, but you know that sleep is for wimps, dear! Jx
LikeLike
Apparently, I am a genetic wimp and want my fucking sleep.
LikeLike
Well the last thing those guys are doing is sleeping. There all up. I too am a night owl. When I’m not working, like on Staycations or weekends…and no plans, I’M like you. I love the night. It kills me during the week, when I have to go to bed early…which is around 11:30pm. Up at , gasp!!!!! 5am.
But I have no problem sleeping. I could sleep standing. And if I can’t… either sex or running one off does the trick. TMI?
LikeLike
I have never had any problem sleeping which is why this dry spell is so frustrating. And porn, while amusing, doesn’t seem to be helping me force myself to sleep.
LikeLike
Well, at least we can have lunch. . . .
LikeLike
It’s the only bright spot left.
LikeLike
Maybe if you took a cue from your models? Try staring at your cock.
As a jewish mother would say, “It couldn’t hurt.”
LikeLike
Maybe it would hypnotize me? Like a snake?
LikeLike