Today is our dear friend Mikey’s birthday, his 30th to be mathematically exact. The Chaturbate gang celebrated last night (which was the morning of his birthday; time zones are so confusing) by zapping his prostate with a shower of electronic tips in the old tip jar. We laughed and laughed as Mikey bounced around and squealed. Then he did a handstand to do 31 pushups with a semi-hardon. He is just that impressive.
I actually remember my own 30th, lost in the mists of time that it is. I took some acid with my friend and bad influence Robert and we sat around my apartment yukking it up while the acid worked its magic. Robert decided we needed to go out to the bars. I never understood why my friends always wanted to go out whilst tripping. There we were, safe, warm, and loaded, but no, we need to walk over to a loud dark bar and stand around with a bunch of strangers. Anyway, that’s when it all went to hell.
We got out of my place, walked to the end of the block, 2 doors down, crossed the street and suddenly I had no depth perception and my whole field of vision distorted into some shattered, crazy abstract. I absolutely couldn’t go any farther, but I couldn’t cross the street because I couldn’t see it. Would my dear friend Robert help me back to my cozy little retreat? FUCK NO. Cause that’s just what druggy friends will do you for.
Somehow I reeled back home collapsed on my bed, possibly crying, and then immediately flipped over into having a fabulous time, tripping and seeing infinity and being convinced I had performed in a porn film. Why? LSD, that’s why.
Anyhoo, I certainly hope Mikey had a better time than that, or maybe as good a time as that, without the brief psychotic episode.
Mikey burfday presenz