I’m trying to regard the astonishing details of the US Capitol riot with the sober attention they deserve. A mob of violent insurrectionists tried to overthrow the results of an election in my country. OK, that’s serious. But how can I keep a straight face when every story about it reveals how closely it resembles Monty Python gone bad? The most important center of our government was easily taken over by, as someone wrote, “Duck Dynasty and some guy in a Chewbacca bikini.” I don’t know where the line between sedition and farce was, but these guys ran right across it long before they smeared shit on the wall.
Republican apologists are now claiming the part of the country that is not actively delusional is over reacting and making too big of deal about “just a protest.” Just a protest where the political leaders of our country had to be evacuated, rioters beat one cop with pole holding an American flag and killed another one with a fire extinguisher, and just coincidentally came to town in vehicles loaded with serious firepower. Some reporters have pointed out how many of the rioters had guns, but I’m from Texas, I understand carrying a gun pretty much everywhere, rolling to the Dairy Queen with your gat. Why else would you have a gun rack in your pickup? This is America, 4% of the world population and 46% of its guns. I’m pretty sure a majority of the attendees at the Houston Garden Show are packing heat. So, yeah, they brought their toys to the party. Idiots.
What is beyond the pale are the yahoos that brought pipe bombs, molotov cocktails, zip ties, and other not-messing-around equipment. These buffoons had plans, as they made abundantly clear on various platforms, and it’s only luck that they didn’t go anywhere. Yes, I understand they were probably the minority of the hooligans, that most of the other morons involved thought they were going to just another MAGA rally and Idiocy Festival. Their numbers don’t matter; their intent was violent insurrection. That the other feckless nitiwits decided to break into the Capitol alongside them and try to invalidate the election just on a whim doesn’t make them less culpable, it just makes them despicable.
I saw a video some airhead posted of herself strolling over to commit trespass and mayhem but stopping on the way to admire a souvenir stand. What was someone like that thinking? “Oh, come on, it’ll be a hoot, like when the sorority trashed that motel in Florida on Spring Break.” Maybe they would just squeeze in a quick afternoon of treason before they had to go pack to fly home the next day. Not. Heeheehee.
So now all that’s left is to watch these buffoons react with indignity when it’s pointed out that what they were involved in, no matter how little they planned it, was a crime. “Look, I didn’t mean to hold up that liquor store. This guy was there with a gun and it just seemed like a good time to demand all the money in the till.” As much as I want Trump punished for his role in inciting these clowns to “… fight much harder….” against their own country (and oh, how I want it, I want it bad) I want these MAGA Barbies and MMA wannabes to have to serve time for their actions. It’s the least the Law and Order party can do.
Guys serving up their very own riot:
A guy who fills out sweatpants is a guy for me.
A cowboy for Amber
Pete Kuzak for Mikey
dmitry averyanov for me
And this guy for fans of butt chops everywhere.
This guy cause of those freaky nipples, but mainly because he seems to be getting packed into a crate.
More butt chops.