In Which We Go to The Bathroom and the Movies

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Oh dear. I was having a moment with my digestive system earlier today. I had gone for my daily coffee-and-a-bun at Peet’s Cafe and when I got home, everything between my collarbone and my upper thighs decided to stage a revolt.

All the organs involved laughed at my feeble attempt with Alka-Seltzer to calm things down and seemed determined to immigrate. I took to my bed not exactly praying but simply moaning “oh baby instant Jesus” over and over again. Sometimes to break up the monotony, I would whimper something that sounded a lot like “Mommy.”Things would calm down all too briefly just long enough for me to form the misguided thought of “well thank God that’s….” only to interrupt myself with the more timely breaking news of “oops.”

I tried to distract myself by going grocery shopping online for delivery. Just more proof that pretty much every decision I have ever made has hinged on the logic of “What the hell?” Everything I considered buying made my guts sort of lurch, so I thought I would at least be restrained from the impulse buying that adds to my grocery bills so disastrously.

Eventually I fell asleep or passed out (is there really a difference?) and woke up just to wait for the delivery. I briefly and foolishly considered tacos for dinner, but a revival of my lurching squeamishness changed my mind. Cottage cheese, tea, and toast, that’s for me.

In less queasy news, the Chaturbate Sunday Night Movie Society took on Godzilla vs Kong and I’m not sure who won. The movie (it is not a “film”) is a loosely strung together series of plot holes randomly broken up by some 3D IMAX fight scenes/fodder in which it’s impossible to tell what’s supposed to be going on.

At one point I texted “I keep losing track of what the evil corporate scientist is doing,” but it turned out not to matter. About two thirds of the way through, after Kong and Godzilla have dedicated themselves to bashing each other’s brains out, suddenly a robot Godzilla pops up. Wut? Where did that come from? Again, it didn’t matter.

The only reason for the robot was to turn the whole thing into one of those mismatched cop/buddy movies, like 48 Hours, Lethal Weapon, or Rush Hour. Evil robot pops up and now the sworn enemies have each other’s back and, I don’t know, homoeroticism blooms or something.

Since I didn’t have to worry about following the plot, I could muse on how what are essentially B movies have turned into gigantic, gibberish blockbusters which cost dump trucks full of money. I’m not wholly opposed to them, I’m a huge fan of Godzillas and zombies, but I would prefer them to be good Godzillas and zombies. Recently the Society watched Mayhem which is a cheerful romp in bloody gore starring Stephen Yuen. It probably cost less than the coffee budget for one of the CGI teams of Godzilla versus Kong and I liked it better.

Even I, who can get sunburned from the light off my laptop, am longing for some beach time.

Saki has taken to wandering into my bedroom and yowling at me for no real reason. He just wants to raise hell.

Speaking of pussy

An old favorite here at mrpeenee Inc. A pretty face, red hair, and big muscles. Yes, please.

From our extensive collection of big lunks.

There is nothing like a fat cock to fill up your hand.

I really hope that Chinese tattoo translates as “For Rent.”

About mrpeenee

A former bon vivant and terror of a number of New Orleans bars in the mad, gay 1980s, I'm now quietly retired and widowed in San Francisco. I have a crooked nose due to an unfortunate Frisbee accident.

15 responses »

  1. Had I been on your Sunday night movie catch up, I would have just drank and gossiped with you and then tuned the movie out and just enjoy watching Mikey stroke his sizable cock. Which from what I’ve seen… could be named Kong.

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    • Things calmed down rapidly, thank you. This was one of those topics that makes me think, “Do I really want to write about this?” but then lack of any other idea wins.

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  2. Oh, dear. I hope it wasn’t Peet’s buns that did you in? Perhaps you should kick some tiny bitches to make yourself feel better?

    Did the Beach Bulk have the same thing as you, as he looks really bloated and swollen (unless he’s very short and stocky)? Cat Boy below him clearly didn’t. What a juxtaposition – he’s so lithe and beautiful!

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  3. Little S.D. and I were *just* having that exact same discussion about Godzilla, King Kong, and the horrors that monster movies have become (that have absolutely nothing to do with the monsters themselves and everything to do with the script and direction.)

    I do hope you start to feel better, dear.

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  4. Made my own coconut cream eggs for Easter.

    https://insidebrucrewlife.com/coconut-cream-eggs/

    They were delicious. I used a 20 ounce bag of Ghirardelli bittersweet chocolate chips to coat them. After I ate all the eggs over several days I ate all the leftover chocolate from coating them and had a major stomach revolt. Didn’t sleep all night with indigestion.

    I will do the eggs again.

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  5. I can sympathise with you. I had a takeaway pizza on Sunday with 5 different types of chillies on it, including scotch bonnet, my poor little sphincter the next day was going like Beaker’s mouth, the cold shivers running up and down my spine, the sweat on my brow, the ring-sting, it was wonderful!

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