He Looks Like a Monkey, and Smells Like One Too


Our dear little friend Mikey, from that nexus of naughtiness, Chaturbate, has a birthday coming up next week. I tried warning him against these since eventually they just pile up and suddenly you’re an old man fantasizing about throwing rocks at little kids. But he didn’t listen to me, nobody does, and now he has a birthday on the horizon so happy burfday and all that.

His mother summoned him back home to give him his present. Home is a small village in Transylvania which was, no doubt, terrorized by Dracula back in the good old days. I am not making this up. He texted me afterwards, giddy with glee about his birthday present, A LITTLE KITTY. I know the connection between Vlad the Impaler and oozy iddle kittens is a little murky, but isn’t that just the way in these wacky mixed up days? All little kitties are, of course, adorable, it’s genetic, but this one seems especially so.

Photographic proof:

Isn’t he adorable? The cat, too.

Oh, so cute.

Just to crank up the adorbs level, Mikey has named him Saki, after a certain much loved and much missed little terror. That was very thoughtful of Mikey. It’s really remarkable that a guy as humpy as Mikey is also so sweet natured. Amazing really.

As for the new Saki, he seems to be cut from the same implacable cloth as the first one. When I was texting with Mikey, Saki had been there less than 2 days and already was firmly in control, ruling Mikey with an iron paw. In the middle of a national lockdown, Mikey had already run out to get some extra toy mice. I understand completely.

Pussy boys:

I always forget to include a link to Mikey’s Chaturbate page, not only because I’m forgetful, but because WordPress has changed how you can link out on these blogs and it forces you to display the entire HTML as the link. Dicks. Anyway, here’s mikey: https://chaturbate.com/playwithme55/

Even though he is not bald, Diego Barros always poses the same way, in a baseball cap jammed down low and with his chin jutted up to see out from under the brim. I forgive him.

Does this guy have a cat? He should have a cat.

An extra special birthday daddy for Mikey.

And an extra special birthday daddy for me, cause I deserve one too, dammit.

For that matter, an extra special birthday daddy for everybody, cause I am just that generous. You’re welcome.


The Beatles had a song called Birthday on their White Album and it used to be the default song for b’day parties, but you don’t seem to hear it that much anymore. “They say it’s your birthday/We’re gonna have a good time.” Yeah, rock on Mikey.

And in conclusion, birthday buttchops.

About mrpeenee

A former bon vivant and terror of a number of New Orleans bars in the mad, gay 1980s, I'm now quietly retired and widowed in San Francisco. I have a crooked nose due to an unfortunate Frisbee accident.

5 responses »

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s