In Which We Are Outraged

As part of our ongoing series, Porn News You Can Use, today we want to focus on AllAmericanGuys, the softest of softcore, with no dicks, few butt cracks, but the cutest boys in all of the NSFW universe.

The site is a step down from Playgirl, it is the descendant of Bruce Weber’s artsy Abercrombie & Fitch/Calvin Klein ads. I think of all of these smut lite studios as Panties on Parade; the models lounge about in expensive bathing suits and even more expensive underpants, all bread and no meat. Oh, nuh uh. Sports paraphernalia is frequently involved. They are to porn as flirtatious twits who never put out are to actual fucking.

I don’t understand why these boys are so fastidious about refusing to flash their bits when they are so close to being naked anyway. Do they think those millimeters of Lycra are going to protect them from the harsh judgment of future employers? As someone who escaped from the clutches of corporate government America, I could assure them that when they apply for a job at the National Bank of Oppression and their walk on the beefcake side comes up, nobody is going to be impressed that they kept their hand over their junk.

The site popped up on my outrage radar recently when I was doing research there and I bumped into a page that was sort of a separate menu from the rest of the offerings. Here’s a screen grab of it:

I was initially confused into thinking the prices were actually the going rate for the boys’ in person companionship. I was impressed that the studio had made the bold leap from titillating photos to actual prostitution and that they were pimping out their models. Color me interested.

I was shocked when I realized they are in fact charging that much money simply for pictures of the boys showing off their good stuff. You may not be up to date on the going rates of naked youth photos, but let me assure you $1000 and up is stratospherically out of the norm. Unless they have developed some proprietary technology that allows these hotties to reach out of the picture and give a hand job, I cannot imagine how they can justify these prices. Am I missing something?

Actual nude dudes, for which I did not pay hundreds of dollars:

Groovy

I’d be interested to find out what this boy and I could get up to for $1,000.

It’s impressive when they have to turn the camera on an angle to fit in all the meat.

Perspective is a fascinating tool.

Once again, crappy Photoshop. Dammit.

What a little sweetie.