In Which We Are Shook

Oy. My day started with an earthquake, a medium sized one about an hour south of here. For an earthquake, that is still plenty close enough to give San Francisco (and me) a good jiggle. It lasted long enough to jostle me awake and then continued until I finally thought “what is that shaking?” At which time it stopped and I realized, oops, earthquake.

The few times earthquakes here have penetrated my oblivion, my reaction is typically “oops.” I almost never feel them, which is okay with me. There really isn’t much you can do anyway. I know you’re supposed to get under like a table, but if the building is falling on your head, I’m not sure how much that crappy desk from IKEA is going to do for you anyway.

As soon as there is an earthquake you know immediately what your topic of conversation is going to be for the rest of the day. Everyone you meet will ask “did you feel it?” This is a mere pretext; they are not genuinely interested in your temblor experience. They’re just waiting to be able to launch into what they felt, what they thought, what they heard, what their cat felt, what their boyfriend felt, what their boyfriend’s roommate felt and on and on. I have long since decided to just let them have at it, to recount their shaky story in as much detail as they want to wring from it. It’s just one of the reasons people like me so much.

I also had to go to the dentist for teeth cleaning so that was my fabulous day. The lady who cleaned my teeth, the receptionist, the barista, the Uber driver, the other Uber driver all asked if I felt it and after I said yes, dove into their own experiences. That’s fine, it’s what I’m here for, earthquake therapy. Maybe I should charge.

guys who can make you feel the earth move:

Soft focus, soft dick

A speedo that flashes a bit o’ crack is just the right size.

I think this guy has visited us before, but he is well worth a second look.

Some times, often, in fact, PhotoShop is just egregious.

Especially when there are cute guys with human-sized dicks, like this one, available.

Booty.

“Oh, you know, just hangin around. What about you?” Words that have started soooo much trouble.

Sometimes guys that you should DEFINITELY avoid are the very most alluring ones.

Well, OK. If you say so.