Category Archives: health

The New and Improved Healthier mrpeenee

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I was at Walgreen’s in the middle of Castro and sort of out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of this gorgeous classic California Surfer Boy.  Sunkissed gold skin and shaggy blonde hair, studying the Gatorade cooler with no shirt on.  Gasp.  As I turned for a better look, I realized the security rent a cop was hovering awfully nearby and closer inspection revealed a homeless guy with no shirt in board shorts.  I had obviously forgotten there are no beach boys indigenous to San Francisco.

Still, flawless tan, blonde hair.  A good wash and rinse and hide all your valuables and he’s probably do OK.  Reminds me of an old Romeo Void song (and whatever happened to them?  Probably homeless in a Walgreens.) that I always thought was called “I might like you better if we slept together” and was somewhat a cri de coeur of mine and which included considering fucking some transient with the line “He’d be warm in your coat….”

In order to keep the Walgreen’s security force from eyeing me in the same manner, I am attempting a more healthful, or at least less ridiculous, life. I have been all too casual about staying in bed 24 hours a day and only eating pills. It was a salute to Valley of the Dolls, and look how that turned out. So now, I’m back to eating salads every day and forcing myself out into the wide, wide world.

The trouble with all that is when you feel weak and vaguely crummy, the knowledge that getting out of bed and moving around will help is clearly understood, but that doesn’t really help get me through the “get out of bed” part of the equation.

What I really need are two big mens to lift me gently out of the supine and dress me and push me out the door.  Again, gently.

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These guys seem cooperative.  That’s important.